#21 – You can just leave.

I was an elementary school teacher for almost 10 years. It is a miracle I lasted as long as I did….because let me tell you, most of the people in that profession have a vagina. Many, many, just too many vaginas…..and I don’t do well with too many vaginas. Personally, I think there should be vagina limits. You know, like elevators….do not exceed 10 vaginas. Or perhaps a balancing system, that for every one vagina there needs to be a leveling penis. It is about equilibrium people.

Now you may be thinking, but wait, you, in fact, have a vagina. So why are you saying these things? Let me explain.

  • I am a tom boy at heart.
  • I do not deal well with bullshit and/or caddy behavior.
  • I am irritatingly honest.
  • I am creative and always have ten other things that occupy my time outside of the job that actually pays my bills.
  • I enjoy and cherish quirky, artistic, roadless traveled people.
  • And I don’t require marriage and/or giving birth as a means for establishing my own self worth and/or purpose.

So on the chance that you thinking that I am being a little bitchy here, I humbly require that you to do at least one of the following and then revisit:

  • Attend any wedding single….no date, just you. Hell on Earth.
  • Attend a child’s athletic event. Pretend to be single and/or divorced then try to integrate.
  • Attend lunch in any teacher’s lounge in the entire United States.
  • Attend a function with a group of sorority sisters….No, scratch that, just shoot yourself now.
  • Attend a dinner with a group of married sorority sisters = pull out eyeballs with dinner fork.
  • Go to any bridal and/or baby shower, but you cannot present yourself to be engaged or married.

…..And people wonder why I have so many gay, male friends…gurl please! It is all about balance!!

It's all about balance.

It’s all about balance.

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