Too many vaginas.

I was an elementary school teacher for almost 10 years. It is a miracle I lasted as long as I did….because let me tell you, most of the people in that profession have a vagina. Many, many, just too many vaginas…..and I don’t do well with too many vaginas.

Personally, I think there should be vagina limits. You know, like elevators….do not exceed 10 vaginas. Or perhaps a balancing system, that for every one vagina there needs to be a leveling penis. It is about equilibrium people. 

Now you may be thinking, but wait, you, in fact, have a vagina. So why are you saying these things? Let me explain.
I am a tom boy at heart. I do not deal well with bullshit and/or caddy behavior. I am irritatingly honest. I am creative and always have ten other things that occupy my time outside of the job that actually pays my bills. I enjoy and cherish quirky, artistic, roadless traveled people. And I don’t require marriage and/or giving birth as a means for establishing my own self worth and/or purpose.

So on the chance that you thinking that I am being a little bitchy here, I humbly require that you to do at least one of the following and then revisit:

  1. Attend any wedding single….no date, just you. Hell on Earth.
  2. Attend a child’s athletic event. Pretend to be single and/or divorced then try to integrate. 
  3. Attend lunch in any teacher’s lounge in the entire United States. 
  4. Attend a function with a group of sorority sisters….No, scratch that, just shoot yourself now.
  5. Attend a dinner with a group of married sorority sisters = pull out eyeballs with dinner fork.
  6. Go to any bridal and/or baby shower, but you cannot present yourself to be engaged or married. 

…..And people wonder why I have so many gay, male friends…gurl please!

It is all about balance!!

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