My 1200 lbs. Angel

I owned a horse once.
I was about 26 years old when I bought a horse.

I had been riding for most of my life and had hit the first of many life’s cross roads. My grand life plan was not working. The Universe had decided that the path I was on, wasn’t in fact my path. It had decided to kick me in the ass, as it forced me to realize that everything was not as it should be. My wind had been taken from me, my momentum had stalled, my breathe non-existent and before me was a path that I didn’t recognize.

I was a mess and I felt the Universe had injured me.

I didn’t trust anything.
So, I started to revert back to things that were familiar to me. I started to ride horses again, absorbing their essences, feeling their life forces, and, without realizing it, I had begun to help myself find my road less traveled.

Broker had been abused too. He physically, where my abuse was lifelong emotional neglect. It literally took him almost six months before he would allow me to touch his nose. He was perfect. Just the project I needed. So, I was patient, after all, I was injured too and valued his non-judgement of all my self-perceived issues. I had developed a precise skill of shutting out any human being I felt was a risk, so his hesitance with me was something I could relate to. I didn’t like people either.

Many nights, I would cry into his shoulder, my tears absorbed by his 17 hand shoulder. I think he got used to me crying, because before long, he bagan a pattern of hugging me back, stretching his head around my body resting his chin on my shoulder. Giving me the hug I so desperately needed. The protection I couldn’t find.

I bought him for about $1200.

But let’s be real. Relationships with horses are not all beautiful moments of breeches, hugs, green fields and apples. There are fights, disagreements, protests, confusion, problems, injuries, financial difficulties and poop, lots of poop. You get bitten, pushed, kicked and thrown. Then you get up. You try again. You learn.

Just like life.

Bubba passed away about ten years ago. My soul misses him and yet I live because of him. I am a functioning human being because of him, My Bubba, my angel. Thank you.

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